Circular Logic for Idiots: 15 years of Liberal Party of Canada M.O.

Marie Pierre Guerin

May 7, 2011 – Guys, I leave you alone for 1 night, 1 night, and in that time, white haired middle aged men, in that short time span you’ve managed to resurrect Jean Chretien (who NO ONE under 40 remembers) who endorses Bob Rae (who’s another generic boring white haired middle aged man my grand-fathers age)  What? Are you for real? This is your big plan for saving your party? Do it again?

Clearly your war room logic is as follows:

“Hey, you know what’s not been working for us?

What we’ve been doing for the last 15 years?

Yup!

Wonderful! Lets do it again!

Yes, lets!

Yay!”

What?

This is your solution? Keep doing it? Over and over? What? Do you know how much alcohol I had to drink before your logic made sense to me?

Lots.

I had to drink lots of alcohol to follow your logic and even then your logic was a little fuzzy for my tastes but okay, give the horse a chance as dad says.

They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome each time.

Hey boys? I’m wearing a leather miniskirt with no underwear and come-fuck-me-heels.

Oh good, I have your attention.

YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!

So your master plan failed and your solution is to throw more of the same at it? Are you serious? This is it? Your great plan? Lets just do the same thing we’ve been doing that’s not made us win anything, what netted us the worst results in the history of our party and just, sorta, see where it goes?

Surely you must think the electorate are a bunch of massive fucktards.

Or maybe your plan is to just give up and make the stupidest choices possible in the hopes that people like me, people you should be worried about, people who would vote for you, just give up on the lot of you altogether? Because your logic, white haired middle aged men, makes as much sense as trying to catch a unicorn by throwing menstruating virgins doing the macarena at a wall. Over and over.

And over?

If you wanted to turn anyone under 45 right the hell off of ever voting Liberal in the history of Canadian politics FOR EVER, this would be the most perfect way to do it.

I just can’t figure out if you’re serious or not, white haired middle aged men. I have a hard time with circular logic and yours is the most circular I’ve been privy to in a long-ass time. So, white haired middle aged men, consider yourselves warned. I am going to hold each and everyone of you accountable for your vagrant disregard of logic. And common sense. And rationality.

And when shit goes all sorts of wrong for you, white haired middle aged men who think Canadians are stupid, I’ll make sure to make popcorn and catch a front row seat to your demise. And you can bet your white haired middle aged asses that I’ll be the first one to shout out “I told you so” and make smores for everyone. Mmmmm smores. Ew. I’m hung over. It’s so bright. It hurts ussssssss…..

Right.

In the meantime I’ll be over here, talking to real people, listening to real issues and trying to make a fucking dent in your My Dick Is Bigger Than Yours pissing match you boys so like to have with yourselves and we’ll just see who gets the most results. And since you couldn’t give a damn about what I have to say (and there’s a lot of me going around, do not be fooled boys) we’ll just see who garners more sympathy. Me, with my “lets listen to what real people have to say” or you with your  “well, after careful consideration and taking into account that we’ve been doing has been loosing for the last 15 years have decided to do it again”. Just cause?

Canadians, you contemptuous self-important overbearingly pompous asses, aren’t as stupid as you would make them out to be. And Canadians, my elitist no-you-can’t-play-in-our-yard-this-is-our-ball-and-we’re-going-home bunch of infantile immature irresponsible white haired middle aged men, can do anything, anything, when they get pissed off.

Just ask your buddies Michael and Stephane and Paul what Canadians are capable of doing when they decide they’ve had enough. Look at what happened to your lot not even 7 days ago. History…..

But hey, keep doing it again boys! Throw yourselves a nice shiny expensive diner next week while your at it to talk about how you’re going to do the same thing again. And again. And again?

Because hey, that’s been working out so well for you so far, right?

-30-

Politics and communications junkie with a loud mouth and a start-up. Public and government relations specialist, part time person who writes things that other people happen not to hate, I am dedicated to humanitarian causes and the strenghtening of Ontario Quebec governmental relationships.  marie_pierre_guerin@hotmail.com

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Canadian Politics, Media Coverage, Political Accountability

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s